7 Attitudes of Mindfulness: Patience [Part 2] Patience with others.
This blog is part 2 of the Patience part of the 7 Essential Attitudes of Mindfulness series. Mindfulness attitude #1 was Beginner’s Mind. Mindfulness attitude #2 was Non-Judgment. Part 1 focused on patience with yourself (check it out HERE). Part 2 is about patience with other people.
Why is patience with other people important? Patient people are kinder, calmer, and less likely to get easily provoked. Often, the root of people’s impatience comes from our inner ego - our ego is the self-serving part of ourselves. There’s a part of every person that is only looking out for themselves, it’s totally natural. Sometimes, it’s important to listen to that and take care of yourself first. Often, it can be difficult to make decisions against our ego, when we know that it would be better to act in a way that serves more than just ourselves. This is where patience comes in - the ability to accept that things are not always the way we want them to be, that people don’t always do the things we want them to do, or that we cannot do what we want without consequence. The ability to act in this way that serves others is important because that’s how you build relationships, connections, and a community. As humans, we are not meant to be alone - patience with others gives us the ability to serve others first in order to build communities and social groups as a part of a healthy, thriving life.
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Why would patience make you a better player? Read below for a few examples to show you why.
Have you seen an impatient beach volleyball partner? You’re watching a team play, and one person is in struggle city - and their partner is trying WAY too hard to overcome the situation, all the while making them feel like they aren’t good enough. Maybe they are trying way too hard to 2-ball, are visibly frustrated when the player in struggle city doesn’t side out or makes a mistake, or maybe they are just giving up. What time can you remember playing with or against an impatient beach volleyball partner? How did it make you feel? Probably stressed, bad, unhappy, or even awkward.
Have you seen an impatient beach volleyball player and the way they impact the lives of everyone involved in the tournament? For example, have you seen someone rip the referee a new one? A classic example of someone not getting what they want, when they want - and in reality, it’s out of your control! Stressing about things you cannot control will make you unhappy and usually a less pleasant person to be around.
What does a patient beach volleyball partner or sports teammate look like? It could look like someone who is relentlessly positive with their partner. Watching that team play, it’s obvious that those two people believe in each other. A patient teammate also looks like someone who’s willing to take responsibility - as opposed to blaming or putting pressure on their partner.
How to be a patient beach volleyball PARTNER.
See the positive. Practice seeing only the positive - and this starts off the court. If you find yourself seeing a lot of negativity in the people around you in your daily life, how could you expect anything to be different when you’re in a pressure situation on the court? Pick a day, an event, an outing, etc - enter that time with the intention of only focusing on the positive in the people around you. Find a way to help yourself remember - maybe set an alarm or reminder on your phone, and then reflect on how that activity changed you.
Practice dealing with conflict. If you hate conflict or uncomfortable situations with other people, how are you supposed to deal with an uncomfortable situation with your teammate on the court? The game is on the line - and your partner is struggling, distant from you, in their own little box and doesn’t know how to get out. How do you help? You practice helping in life. Practice your conflict resolution. Practice reaching out to people when they look uncomfortable - as opposed to shying away. We all know that practice makes perfect!
Practice holding space. Sports can be emotional! Beach volleyball has this special way of putting a ton of pressure on one person - and you have nowhere to hide. The best beach volleyball partners know how to alleviate that pressure by being the trust and support system their partner needs when the game is on the line. This doesn’t just happen magically on the court - it requires practice. Practice holding space for people when they’re struggling off the court. Got a friend going through a tough time? How can you be there and just listen to them empathetically and without judgement, so they feel trust and safety with you?
Journal Prompts
What things do I do to make the people around me feel trust and comfort with me?
How do I respond when there’s an uncomfortable/conflict situation in front of me? How do I want to respond?
What are some situations I tend to be pretty negative? How do I want to choose to act in those situations?
